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Onion spoofs Apple: The Macbook Wheel

Jan. 6, 2009 Paul Thurrott | Paul Thurrott's Supersite for Windows

In the wake of today’s stunningly bad Macworld keynote, I am remiss for not having previously posted this hilarious Onion product spoof.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

“Everything is just a few hundred clicks away.”

“Here at Apple, we like to give people features that they don’t even know they want yet.”

The Macbook Wheel won’t hit the shelves for another three to fifteen months…

Apple fan: “I’ll buy anything if it’s shiny and made by Apple.”

Same guy (After spending 45 minutes to type an email): “I never realized how much I hated the keyboard until I saw this thing … I like that the email says ‘Sent from a Macbook Wheel.' That way, people know you have one.”

And my personal favorite:

“It remains to be seen whether the Macbook Wheel will catch on in the business world, where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around.”

LOL. Exactly.

Thanks to everyone that wrote in about this.

Discuss this Article 67

robertsjoe
on Jan 6, 2009
A new post about Apple? Didn't you say your masters at Redmond told you to tone it down and concentrate on what this blog should be about.. Windows (and MIcrosoft)? Here's some true innovation: http://www.apple.com/macbookpro/17inch-battery/watch.html#medium I'm sure Vista will get (maybe) 3 out of the 8 hours of battery life. Since Vista's battery life on notebooks is so bad compared to OS X.
robertsjoe
on Jan 6, 2009
Great to see that Apple is still the most environmentally friendly computer maker too.
RaaJ
on Jan 6, 2009
@ Robertsjoe, the Apple iSuckup: "Great to see that Apple is still the most environmentally friendly computer maker too." Why? Because Apple told you it was the GREENEST? Come back when you can show me a neutral party certifies Apple to be the GREENEST.
kalewallace
on Jan 6, 2009
They should've made mention of it costing...oh... $2800! Screw that.... I'm leaning more and more to doc's $400 Vista laptop.
Waethorn
on Jan 6, 2009
Great Paul. You read my comment. You stole my punchline. One thing you didn't mention was the price (like I did). You might as well take that one too.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
"In the wake of today’s stunningly bad Macworld keynote" I really was expecting Leonard Pinth-Garnell to be hosting this as an episode of "Bad Apple Keynote"
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
And don't forget the "Hummingbird"(R) battery" capable of powering the MacBook Wheel for "almost 20 minutes"
tayme
on Jan 6, 2009
"In the wake of today’s stunningly bad Macworld keynote" So, I saw that on the Onion yesterday...I know that they run a lot of old stuff over and over...Does anybody know when that was created? It is a great spoof and does a good job of exaggerating the tendencies of the Macinbots. --tayme
Dipsh t Admin
on Jan 6, 2009
I guess school is out and the bus just dropped off our resident troll at home. I think I hear your mother calling about some chores you need to do. So, the non-replaceable battery is what passes for "innovation?" That's pretty funny. And I'm sure you've verified their "greenness" right, roberstjoe? http://www.epeat.net/SearchResults.aspx?status=1&ProductType=3&rating=3
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
tayme Apparently it's a new one. It tops their latest list and it also got featured on Digg yesterday. (not that that proves much of anything)
weedmonk
on Jan 6, 2009
LMAO. The production value on that was great. "Dear Robber, You wont believe where I am# I)m at the Mac Expo ænd I am USING thep colic new Macwheel laptop. I'll BET YOU ARE JEAlouz That and the Predictive sentence suggestion "The Abortion went well' were priceless.
gfryesc1
on Jan 6, 2009
and of course crotchety paul never writes when microsoft gets spoofed by the onion a simple google search would have given him lots. nope, I'd think he'd rather complain, whine, and dog apple, even though this is supposedly a Windows site. It gets old, boring, and is supremely irrational.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>>So, the non-replaceable battery is what passes for "innovation?"<< Not the fact that it it's not user replaceable, no.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>> So what does Windows 7 need to do? 1. It needs to work correctly out of the box. 4. It needs to learn from Mac OS X, not mimic it. 5. It needs to be innovative. 7. It needs to be able to sell itself. Vista had to be force fed to consumers. That’s not good: if Microsoft does not learn from the mistakes of Windows Me Redux, we’ll be saying the same thing in another three or so years. << http://technologizer.com/2009/01/06/seven-things-windows-7-needs-to-acco...
DRWAM
on Jan 6, 2009
I'm wondering how much it cost to make that video. Anyway, my cheapo $400 laptop has a battery smaller than Weedmonk's pecker [his mommy told me], but still gets almost 3 hrs of life while playing a DVD and surfing the web and playing web games [Wubbzy's Adventure] with a Word document open.
kalewallace
on Jan 6, 2009
@Ocean: "Not the fact that it it's not user replaceable, no." Right, it's the fact it runs on fairy dust and Steve Jobs' magic. And the fact it costs $179 to get the stupid thing pried out of the lappie and replaced.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
Kale, How often do you think the average user will need to have that done? Not the power user...but the average user.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
Ocean How many people who aren't Power Users buy a $2,800 Seven Pound "laptop"?
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
"Vista had to be force fed to consumers. That’s not good" Seeing how Windows Vista outsold the total installed base of all versions of OS X combined in a matter of weeks, if Vista's "not good" that means OS X is Insanely Awful.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
Good point Mike. Those folks have their companies to pay for it...if it's ever needed at all.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>>The lifespan of a battery is measured in recharges. One recharge is a complete charge and discharge of a battery’s energy. A recharge doesn’t necessarily occur every time you plug in your notebook; many partial charges can add up to a single full recharge. The typical battery delivers about 200 to 300 recharges before its capacity declines to approximately 80 percent. At that point the battery still works, but its performance is diminished. Thanks to the breakthroughs of advanced chemistry and Adaptive Charging, the battery in the 17-inch MacBook Pro can go through up to 1000 recharges before it reaches 80 percent of its original capacity<<
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>>Seeing how Windows Vista outsold the total installed base of all versions of OS X combined in a matter of weeks<< Lets compare it with XP, since that's what the author did...and also because he's talking about Windows 7.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
Gee, Ocean. If the only people who will buy the Mac Pro 17" are Businesses and, as Mac people love to say, Businesses buy Windows, then I guess nobody will be buying the Mac Book Pro 17" (which is probably not far from the truth)
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>>as Mac people love to say, Businesses buy Windows<< Not that I don't believe you, but, got a link?
DRWAM
on Jan 6, 2009
Dang, my buddy, the PC guru, just bought his son a MBP17 in 2 or 3 weeks ago. He's gonna be pissed that the new came out immediately after. Do the fairy dust batteries get in the 15 in MBP too? He bought his wife one about a week or two ago.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
Ocean Nah. Let's not bother. This is, after all, a Mac thread so let's continue with you explaining how OS X is NOT Insanely Awful based on what you chose to post, off topic. After all, if the criteirion is that Vista sales are bad, then Apple's total history of sales is pathetic. I wonder how many weeks it takes of Windows Vista sales to equal 25 years of Macintosh? I wonder how many weeks it takes for Windows Vista sales to equal 32 years of total Apple computer sales? Care to figure those out for us? (Maybe they'd count it as extra credit homework for your Basic Math class)
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
DRWAM You might want to have your friend check to see whether he can take advantage of the return policy since he's only a few weeks out and might still be inside the window. As for the "fairy dust" batteries, there's speculation that the other MacBooks will get "upgraded" later this year to non-removable batteries but seeing how those are Mac fan rumors, it's probably not true.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>>if the criteirion is that Vista sales are bad, then Apple's total history of sales is pathetic.<< No one said they were bad...it was the reaction in comparison to XP that was less than stellar...
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
Nice attempt to change the subject though...
DRWAM
on Jan 6, 2009
Thanks Mike. I'll have him check. He's the one that makes the decisions about out IT technology and much equipment, except for the stuff I buy, which is PET/CT, Nuclear Medicine cameras and equipment [including radiation saftey stuff] and DXA units [for osteoporosis screening]. He picks the CT, MRI, and all the IT stuff [PACS, transcription and Radiology IS or RIS]. He's a bright guy. I tried to discourage him from the MBP, but his son and wife really wanted it. My wife is happy with the $400 Vista laptop. I guess that I got lucky. [but then again, she does drive a Benz].
RaaJ
on Jan 6, 2009
Ocean, Not that I doubt your capability to pull sales numbers of all things big and small out of your ass at the drop of a hat, care to point out the number of XP licenses sold vis-a-vis Vista at comparable points of their life?
realtestman
on Jan 6, 2009
I see Ocean and robertsjoe are their usual trolling self! They can't resist the bait, like typical fanboys. The rest of us will just get on with life and use whatever we feel like.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
Ocean The subject is The Onion's Mac Book Wheel parody video.
tayme
on Jan 6, 2009
@mikegalos - Since you have left the other thread, I'll repost here...because I am really wondering...To what in Barnum's life were you referring, then? Care to elaborate? --tayme
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
tayme I didn't leave the other thread. Since there isn't even close to a thread about P. T. Barnum's life going anywhere, I'm just ignoring you.
BrightrevCarl
on Jan 6, 2009
I thought the Onion spoof was hilarious. Really good stuff.
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
>>The rest of us will just get on with life and use whatever we feel like.<< I use XP. >>The subject is The Onion's Mac Book Wheel parody video.<< You responded to this: http://technologizer.com/2009/01/06/seven-things-windows-7-needs-to-acco... <> <> I wonder how Windows Vista compares to Windows XP in software only sales, IOW, uninstalled...
tayme
on Jan 6, 2009
@mikegalos - Wait...you brought up P.T. Barnum...remember. If you'd like, I can post a link to the thread and count the number of posts to get you there...naw, you aren't worth it. I think that once "lotsamystuff" proved you wrong...you once again handily "forgot" about what you said...refusing to admit it. That is so much like what your alter ego robertsjoe does, its funny. Remember...the sky is blue! --tayme
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
Ocean Here's a hint to help you with your homework... There are well over 1,000,000,000 copies of Windows in use, If we make the assumption that your source document is correct and accept that 1/4 of Windows users use Vista, that's well over 250,000,000 copies of Vista. Since your source document uses 26 months as the sales period for Vista, let's round that to 260,000,000 copies in 26 months. That gives an average rate of 10,000,000 copies per month. That's a little over 2,300,000 copies per week. Now, using that data: How many weeks it takes of Windows Vista sales to equal 25 years of Macintosh? How many weeks it takes for Windows Vista sales to equal 32 years of total Apple computer sales? Once you've done that, get back to us...
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
tayme No, I refernced P.T. Barnum in a discussion of how Mac users were proud of being taken for a ride. The subject was the arrogance and gullability of Mac customers. Care to discuss that topic? (which WAS the on topic discussion in that posting)
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
How many are forced (business) vs unforced (consumer). How many are upgrades?
DRWAM
on Jan 6, 2009
Didn't he [P T Barnum] say "there's a sucker born every minute"?
mikegalos@msn.com
on Jan 6, 2009
DRWAM No, he's often credited with that quote but didn't actually say it (which is, apparently, what has tayme in a snit since he wanted to trap me with that trivia) And Bogart didn't say "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca. And Reagan told Gorbachev to "tear down this wall" a day AFTER Gorbachev announced to the Politburo that he planned to tear down the Berlin Wall.
jimbednarz
on Jan 6, 2009
That bit was very funny. As far as I'm concerned, both companies put out good products.But neither are the superfantastic amazing wonder product many fans make it out to be and neither are the evil super horrifying crap making corporate stooges either. But I suppose it's a battle that may never end. -jim
tayme
on Jan 6, 2009
@DRWAM - No, that is what it appears that mikegalos was referring to and "lotsamystuff" provided a link showing that he never said that. mikegalos, in his usual arrogance, refuses to admit his mistake. Just like robertsjoe...Of couse, mikegalos will deny that he was referring to that quote...but, that is what we expect of him. --tayme
tayme
on Jan 6, 2009
@jim - I am afraid that you hit the nail on the head, there. People like mikegalos, robertsjoe, and others will continue the "fight" until the end of time...it is entertaining, though. --tayme
Ocean
on Jan 6, 2009
Well Said Jim. >>As far as I'm concerned, both companies put out good products.But neither are the superfantastic amazing wonder product many fans make it out to be and neither are the evil super horrifying crap making corporate stooges either.<<
DRWAM
on Jan 6, 2009
If Barnum didn't say it, then I bet it was some lawyer.
tayme
on Jan 6, 2009
Or Tech Evangelist... --tayme
whiplash55
on Jan 6, 2009
Mike, we all know the difference between Gorby and the other commie Apparatchik's was Ronald Reagan, Gorby had no choice. Love the Onion, Apple fan bois are the easiest target out there except maybe Obama heads. Any true believer deserves to get their chain pulled. Tough for any Apple spokesman to follow Steve Jobs especially when there's not much to announce. As for the MacBook's battery life, true battery innovation will happen when the super capacitor becomes practical, although it seems HP recently touted a 24 hour battery, sound pretty fishy to me.

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