Say goodbye to laser ... and, for Mac fanatics, to sanity

LOL.

Here's a beautiful example of the Apple fanboy world seeing everything through Apple-colored lenses. Seriously, you people are just embarrassing yourselves now.

Yesterday, Microsoft Hardware--the tiny portion of Microsoft that makes mice, keyboards, and other PC hardware peripherals (but not, interestingly, the Zune, the Xbox 360, or hardware products of that magnitude) launched a teaser animation on its site advertising an upcoming new generation of what is clearly mice. Microsoft typically releases new versions of its keyboards, mice, and keyboard/mice combo packages every fall, so the anticipated release date, September 9, 2008, is no big surprise.

Here's how the animation progresses:

Slide 1: Coming soon: Meet the next big thing
Slide 2: Think about all the places you use your computer today...
Slide 3: The airport (image of a laptop at the airport, with a mouse next to it)
Slide 4: Your living room (image of a couple using a laptop on the rug, with a mouse next to it)
Slide 5: Your kitchen (image of a couple using a laptop on kitchen counter, with a mouse next to it)
Slide 6: Working outside on the deck (image of a couple using a laptop on the deck table, with a mouse next to it)
Slide 7: Meet the technology that will go anywhere you do
Slide 8: Microsoft brings you the World's Most Advanced...
Slide 9: Say Goodbye to laser 9.9.08 (with cool new logo)

So.

Given the visual and textual information in this animation (and really, you should watch the animation in case it's not clear what kind of product they're touting), which of the following seems like a more reasonable assumption?

1. Microsoft is releasing a new mouse or family of mice that uses a non-laser-based pointing technology that will work on any surface.

(or)

2. Microsoft has specifically chosen September 9, 2008 in order to "spoil" an Apple event that has not actually been officially announced and that may or may not happen on that very same date.

Now, I want you to think about that one very carefully. Because, you know, it could be either. Heck, it could be both! (Cue scary music.)

OK, I won't keep you in suspense any longer. The survey says...

If you've chosen number 2, you're an idiot. But thanks for playing. Really, you're fun to have around. :)

By the way, here's the "evidence" that number two could be the correct answer:

While Apple hasn't yet officially announced any plan for an event in two weeks time, the company has alluded to an upcoming product refresh cycle, and resellers have been warned to expect scant stock of some Apple products.

Wrapped in shrouds of doubt and uncertainty, what Microsoft's planning is anybody's guess.

Anybody's guess? Really? I mean, even my kids could figure this one out.

So I asked them.

Kelly, aged 6. Mark, aged 10. What do you think this animation is about?

Mark: A mouse?

Kelly: A computer? (I mentioned to Kelly, who can't read, that Microsoft Hardware doesn't make computers but instead makes smaller things that connect to computers. She actually couldn't guess, so I told her that mice had lasers in them.) The red dot is a laser? (Dad: Yes.) A mouse?

So there you go. Two children, one of whom can't read, can readily tell what this ad is for.

And for the record: Even if Apple is holding an event for iPods or whatever or September 9, something tells me that Microsoft's announcement about mice has absolutely nothing to do with that. Obviously.

Discuss this Article 65

yert
on Aug 27, 2008
I actually did a post about this, before Paul did, but at a slightly different angle: http://yertblog.blogspot.com/2008/08/apple-is-running-scared-microsoft-a... As you can see, my post is in a slightly sarcastic tone (if you cannot see, please comment on what I did wrong with the tone) about how Apple is doing the iPod announcement to spoil the CP+B ads Microsoft is doing, with a mention to the Goodbye Laser ad.
benjwah
on Aug 27, 2008
"It wouldn't be the first time that Microsoft tried to steal Apple's thunder. Microsoft demonstrated its Surface technology ahead of the release the original iPhone," notes Computerworld. I noticed that hilarious quote. Seems to jibe with Mike Galos's contention that Apple fans can't conceive of the idea that the timing of the Surface announcement had nothing to do with the timing of the Apple iPhone. From what I can recall, it wasn't even anywhere near the same time as the iPhone announcement, or the product launch.
Mum
on Aug 27, 2008
"I never have understood why Apple, who pride themselves on industrial design and ergonomics, has so consistently made such amazingly horrible mice. It's not that they haven't been told over and over by even their fans. Their other peripherals have varied, some very good, some very bad, some mediocre, but the mice? Consistantly awful." Being a freelancer and mainly using Photoshop I use the mouse more than almost anyone else - sometimes it gets to 16 hours a day of rather intensive use without many typing breaks. The only ones that don't give me wrist ache seem to be Apple's. Microsoft's and Logitech's mice seem to all be so tall that your wrist is forced in a painful angle. Mighty Mouse and Apple mice consistently have a very flat profile and are extremely ergonomic for my hand. With MS and Logitech mice your grip is also forced to be very heavy, whereas the Mighty Mouse allows you to just very lightly move it between your thumb and little finger (or ring finger) while pressing the left button with the index finger. It's almost like you're not gripping the mouse at all. What mouse suits everyone is very personal, but you can definitely argue that Logitech or Microsoft don't produce mice for heavy users. Not that the Apple mice in all their simplicity look like it, either, but they're certainly the right ones for me.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Aug 27, 2008
Mum, You are literally the first person I've ever run into who had good things to say about any Apple mouse. Guess your anatomy exactly matches whoever they use as a model. (I had that happen with a car from a small British company. It turns out the founder was just about my height and weight so the ergonomics of his cars was always great for me - and awful for quite a few other people)
subzerohitman721
on Aug 27, 2008
Honestly. A mouse story? Is that really newsworthy for a blog about Windows? Is the news day that slow? How about the DNC convention powered by Microsoft? How well the live feed from the DNCC was better than that for the Olympics? The recorded video was much sharper than the Olympics. So far no BSOD's at the DNCC. Now I'm starting to see at times, where the Mac guys are seeing the Apple bashing. Paul, this wasn't worth the type up or the webspace. Trust me, this was a waste of time. Can we set the bar higher here?
gorath
on Aug 28, 2008
again, @ hitman this time, this isn't apple bashing as such, is it? it's poking fun at apple fanatics, not at apple, or their users
Dude1313
on Aug 28, 2008
Dipsh t Admin said: "@Ocean - Why not get your own blog site to post your links to articles that are unrelated to the subjects that you post them in. @Paul - Please add an ignore feature to your site so that we can perpetually ignore people that we choose to. " What he said. x2
Mum
on Aug 28, 2008
"Guess your anatomy exactly matches whoever they use as a model." Actually it's really not about matching the mouse form to the hand exactly so you can get a firm grip, if you use the mouse like I do: only very lightly touching the sides with my fingertips to push it along the surface between the thumb and the ring/little fingers. It's almost like rolling a very hot egg back and forth on the table surface. I do this almost without moving my wrist at all. That's why anything that protrudes outwards is only a distraction, as then some directions you're pushing the mouse into feel different from some others. So it needs to be symmetrical. I actually found the puck mouse extremely usable as well but admittedly the direction you're moving it into isn't always accurate because of its roundness. I do have a couple nice, symmetrical Microsoft mice (the "design by Starck" model) but they are a bit too large (again, tall) for my use and don't have a scroll ball.
Waethorn
on Aug 28, 2008
Nothing beats my Logitech Cordless Trackman Optical. Sorry. ;)
BrightrevCarl
on Aug 28, 2008
Seconding the request for an ignore feature. The software holy wars on every single post are incredibly boring. Some commenters here have interesting things to say, and I'd very much like to read them and ignore the others.
Mum
on Aug 28, 2008
"The software holy wars on every single post are incredibly boring." You want to ignore Paul's posts?
jeffsters
on Aug 30, 2008
I can't watch the animation for what ever reason it doesn't work on the Mac, Safari or FireFox. Funny!
Mum
on Aug 30, 2008
"I'd imagine the Windows Mobile team pays some attention to the iPhone team" Windows Mobile is obviously tiny, but when it comes to the biggest mobile phone vendor in the world, Nokia, well, I hear that iPhone gets mentioned in every mail and at every meeting. It's already made them change their strategy and product roadmap significantly.
mikegalos@msn.com
on Aug 30, 2008
Mum Mentioned in every email? Yeah. I can picture that. From: Sven@nokia.com To: Gustav@nokia.com Hey, Gustav. iPhone. Want to go get lunch? iPhone. From: Gustav@nokia.com To: Sven@nokia.com Sure. iPhone. How about that new sandwich shop around the corner? iPhone From: Sven@nokia.com To: Gustav@nokia.com Sounds good. iPhone. See you in 10. iPhone
Mum
on Sep 2, 2008
"Sven"? "Gustav"? Anyway, this is not what I heard from some guy who knows someone who knows someone at Nokia, but in separate discussions with a lot of people who work for Nokia.

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