Sometimes life hands you a gimme. This horrible article--18 Features Windows Should Have (but Doesn't)--is such a gimme. The reason? The guy who wrote it apparently knows absolutely nothing about Windows, doesn't realize that virtually everything listed here can be downloaded for free, and/or feels free to list Mac OS X features that shipped since the most recent Windows version.

Yep, it's a disaster.

Here's the full list, with just a few comments.

1. Expose

Expose is just next-generation window switching. Yawn.

2. Virtual Workspaces

Actually, this has been built into Windows forever, it's just that Microsoft never felt the need to build a UI to access it. With Windows XP, you can download a free PowerToy to expose this feature.

3. Back to My Mac

Even the Mac doesn't support this feature ... Unless you pay Apple $99 a year for .Mac.

4. Screen Sharing

You mean something like this free Microsoft utility?

5. Time Machine

Actually, this was copied from a Windows feature called "Volume Shadow Copy" that debuted in 2003. Apple just put a pretty UI on it.

6. ISO Burning

There are so many free ISO utilities out there, this one isn't even worth discussing. That said, how many normal human beings ever run into ISOs? Really?

7. Stickies
8. Podcast Capture

Yes, he just said Windows needed "stickies" and "podcast capture." You know, for those 17 guys that would use either feature.

9. Software Repositories

I guess I'd argue that Microsoft's Windows Marketplace pretty much covers this, especially the amazing (and under-reported) Digital Locker feature.

10. Desktop Cube

Dude. You did not just list a single graphical effect as a feature Windows lacks. Oh yes you did.

11. Application Dock

The most horrible feature ever foisted on Mac OS X users. Look: It holds permanent shortcuts and links to currently running programs and some other stuff. It's a UI disaster. And please, Dear God, someone please bring up the fact that Windows users click a Start button to shutdown their computer. Please.

12. Automated Screen Shots

Again, spare me. We can take screenshots of the screen and of particular windows. There's a Snipping Tool in Vista. and a million free utilities. Moving on.

13. Multitouch Trackpad Gestures

Only the very newest Mac notebooks support this and only in a very limited fashion. Moving on.

14. Cover Flow

Because the file browser doesn't move slowly enough already.

15. Pre-Installed Web Server

It's been there for over a decade. Microsoft stopped installing it by default because of security reasons. Maybe Apple should follow suit.

16. POSIX Compliance

In NT from day one. Dropped due to lack of interest and shipping separately.

17. Standardized Menu Ribbon

No offense, but this is an age-old debate between Windows and Mac UIs. No one cares anymore. They're just different.

18. Single-File Applications

Actually, this would be cool. And actually, it's happening already. In fact, Microsoft SoftGrid basically delivers pre-packaged applications in exactly this fashion, currently only to desktop PCs in businesses, but I could see its use broadening in Windows 7 and beyond to meet compatibility needs as Windows drops more and more legacy technologies. By the way, SoftGrid also gets rid of DLL Hell: You can do things like run multiple versions of Word (97, 2000, XP, 2003, 2007) simultaneous on the same desktop.

So... That's right. He's made a list of his favorite Mac OS X Leopard features. All 300, excuse me, 18 of them.

Spare me.

Thanks Lee.